buttfeathers | TEST DRIVE MEME: The First (Fixed Setting)

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TEST DRIVE MEME: The First (Fixed Setting)

TEST DRIVE MEME
HOW TO: Post with your character in what will be a fixed setting for the first round! Do a top level, respond to others! If your thread is substantial, it can be used as a first-person on your application! Remember that this is not game canon, and everyone is welcome!

You were just ushered into a large park by a murder of loud and insistent crows who somehow manage to get the gate shut behind you before they fly off. The park is awfully green for such a dead-looking town. It's dusk, and things are starting to get a little noisy at the edge of the tall iron fence that surrounds the area. There are gazebos, cobblestone pathways, gentle slopes, and of course, the lake and the island with the large, dead tree. It's full of crows, and if you stare at them, they'll all stare back. Feel free to take a load off on one of the many iron and wood benches, but the gates to the city are closed!

This does not, however, mean you are barred from ghost-watching as night progresses. Remember, they won't see you!

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Seen the Birds? What sort of painting do you speak of? I have been trapped in a castle in Northern France since 856, year of our lord.

......Wow dude, what diet are you on? It's like... 2554 now. [beat] Or maybe... 2556. I dunno, I lost count a while ago, and I didn't exactly have access to a calendar.

Diet? Honestly I haven't eaten anything since I became entwined with the fountain of youth.

Wow, sucks to be you. Food is amazing. Especially Oreos.

[Mmmm, Oreos....]

I wonder if I can find some. That would be awesome.

[This man had an amazingly short attention span. It astounded Johaness.]

The world must have come a long ways if the Fountain of Youth provokes absolutely no response in the youth of today. In comparison to what... confections I can assume, are oreos. Though I will admit a confection would be nice at this moment...

Man, I am like 28 and my life sucks enough already as it is, I'm pretty sure I don't want to live forever. I'm also sure that 28 is old enough to not be counted as a youth, so I'm probably a bad example of what kids're into today. Having said that, man, you have not LIVED until you've had an Oreo, lemme tell you. They are the best things ever, I swear to god.

[turns towards the crows, stroking his chin thoughtfully] Hey, crows! Yeah you, you stupid birds! You know what would suck? If you guys went out and got a whole bunch of Oreos and dropped them on our heads. That would be like the worst thing ever, so you shouldn't do it!

That was my age before I sought the heirdom to the crown. A poor decision, verily.

[He had no idea why he would think the crows were so dumb.]

I would find it more likely they'll drop a bag of rocks on our heads. So you wore armor. Were you a warrior of some kind before coming here?

Edited 2014-07-08 17:33 (UTC)

Yeah, I got drafted a couple years ago, it really wasn't my decision.

No, see, it's reverse psychology! I tell them not to do something, then they do it thinking it'll spite me, but instead, it's really sometime that I want. It's great, it works all the time! Well, some of the time, anyway. At least it never hurts to try.

A levy. Why would they give a peasant armor?

[Oh the joys of dealing with old school nobility!]

I can see the logic there, at least in trying a tactic against them.

A peasant? [he snorts, fighting hard against a grin] What are you, a fucking hipster? No one calls people peasants anymore, that's so lame. And hey, these days, everyone gets armor, it's just some of it's better than others. Mine was a piece of shit, but it was a comfy piece of shit and it kept me from getting killed by my own teammates, so I liked it.

Plus, it was orange, which is an awesome color.

I guess if armor was cheap enough, it would go to levies as well as those who have dedicated themselves war. I will refrain from the term peasant if it is no longer in vogue though. Though I believe your language does not need to be so uncouth, perhaps you would have to worry about your teammates less.

I do not believe Orange is larger than any other particular color, nor particularly awe invoking.

[Fast friends, these two.]

Actually, mine is probably experimental. And probably also cheap. Because why invest money in something if you're just going to blow it up?

[And with the blandest, boredest expression ever-] If you think my language is "uncouth," you cock-gobbling, cum-guzzling son of a bitch, then you clearly have not spent any time with your own goddamn mother fucking troops, because believe me, a real ball-stomping Marine is twice as vulgar as I am. I actually had to try to get all that out.

[sneeeerk] Whatever man, fuck you, blue sucks, red rules, blah blah blah. Orange is the best color, and that's all there is to say about that.

[They are the bestest of friends]

[Johannes just stared for a few moments. His plate-mail shuddered some at the words a bit before staring at him for a few moments.]

I will do the best to expunge said words from my mind. I would have little to do with marines though. I am Prince Johannes from a once glorious, but now small kingdom. Thankfully rich, which I learned before my supposed passing.

As for any color being greater, my family's color is red, but I was ex-pulsed for my murder of my father, so... I have no particularly strong feeling on any color.

Not that I was much of a general. Best there ever was with swords, but I fear my armor is not the only thing that a atrophied after a thousand years.

Wow, a prince, that's so fantastic for you. [He says it so deadpan, only just managing to not roll his eyes] Really man, I am super impressed and that has just raised my respect for you by like. A million.

[snort] Not. You sound like a real prick. You know what guys at my level do to guys like you?

[He was just stating facts, not trying to impress him.]

I figured the patricide would be more important than the being Prince. I do not intend to sound, well, as you put it, like a prick. But being alone with nothing but a fountain to talk to for a thousand years does things to one's social skills.

Wow, I was just gonna say ignore you, but then you went and threw that in my face.

[Why does he always get thrown in with the socially awkward nerds with Daddy Issues? Why can't he hang with the cool kids for once? Hasn't he earned that by now?]

Look, I get it. Being a rich brat completely disconnected with reality is hard. I can't relate, since I grew up working and raising my baby sister, but we all have our troubles. So here's what I'm going to do for you.

[he heaves himself to his feet, moving to sling one arm around Johannes's shoulder] I'm gonna give you some advice, because that's how nice of a guy I am.

[Had no expression change but did blankly stare for a bit now. Though he did in return toss the arm around him.]

I killed my father because he took everything my family had and tricked me into believing he had been poisoned, sending me on a quest away from my family who had been exiled to the hinterlands, where I fought every day. My family proceeded to think I was a traitor and attempted to kill me, every year, for a thousand years. Yes, I'm disconnected from reality.

Because I've been locked in a castle for a thousand years.

I have not a cent to my name, and I have only my own stupidity and my father's greed to thank for that. Now. Your life is hard. You grew up poor. But I've been forced by a creation of darkness to murder my own family, over and over, until they killed me.

So excuse me for my manners.

WOW. [he holds his hands up in front of him placatingly, one eyebrow arched] Dude, seriously, chill. Which was really all I was gonna say to you, anyway. I get it, it sucks. Seriously, it sounds pretty terrible. Like I can't even begin to imagine, right? But it doesn't get better. I may not be thousands of years old, but I have seen enough shit to know that it doesn't get any better. Where you are right now is probably the worst place you're ever gonna be, so you might as well make the best of it.

So relax. [he gestures to the bench, then pulls a lighter and a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, holding them out towards Johannes] Have a smoke. Accept that your life is shit, but it's your life, so you're going to make it the best shit you can, because no one else is going to do it for you.

[Just listened. For once, he just listened. He took a few moments before reaching up to his helmet. He took his helmet off, revealing a youngish man without facial hair and a thick mop of wet brown hair. He pressed a hand to his head for a few moments before taking a deep sigh. He put his helmet down on the bench before taking the cigarette from him. He lit it by creating a spark with his gauntlets before sitting down beside him.]

Fuck.

Yep. [plops down and lights up a cigarette for himself] Sucks, doesn't it? But hey, that's life. Find happiness where you can, and fuck everyone else.

Not sure if I feel like disregarding everyone, but you do have some wisdom. That's for certain.

[He takes a drag, before coughing some.]

Odd little fire stick. Reminds me of the sensation of coffee. Wish that wasn't so rare. This a rare good as well?

Yeah, I guess some people are worth it. [his mind just kind of. Flashes to Simmons, but he's going to repress that right now]

Nah. Coffee is pretty common now, too. I'd offer you some, but I'm preeeetty sure we're not going to find it in the park.

I suppose a few things improved then if such products became more common. Wish we could at least go somewhere.

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TEST DRIVE MEME: The First (Fixed Setting)

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